it's 3 am, who would you call?

sooooo...it's 3 am and my phone apparently chooses to call the connors and the hones and david's work and my message center and just about everyone else . . . but hillary.
let me back up about 15 hours: have you ever rushed into the bathroom, (at the 5 hour store no less) dancing and desperate because you waited just a little too long and just as you are about to, well you know, your phone drops out of your pocket and into the bowl, ie toilet bowl! you hurry and grab the phone, without thinking and rapidly pull the battery out. then you can think no further beyond that until you finish what you first went to the bathroom to do. then after using all the paper you can get off the stingy commercial toilet paper holder you wrap your device and rush to the sink and yet again immerse the dang thing in water to wash it off! alas - the phone appears dead, but having been experienced with dropping electronic items into water - such as walkie talkies into the lake, while trying to keep the fish on the line - you believe that your lifeline can yet be saved.
you leave the battery out and dry the phone off and wave the phone in the air and blow hot air into every crevise you can find. when you get home you use the hair dryer for more forceful hot air. at 2:45 am you finally decide to go to bed. you look at the phone and attempt to turn it on. it works, sort of, at least the lights are bright but it says the battery needs charging. so very sleepily you plug the phone into the charger and leave it on the couch while you climb the steep stairs and fall into the first available unmade bed in the extra room, because you are too tired to take the decorative pillows and covers off your own bed. now the spare bedroom has no phone in it so as not to disturb any potential guests. and then a very deep, deep sleep sets in. a sleep like you have not had in say months.
then . . . the cell phone demons do their thing. the phone starts dialing random numbers in your phone directory. your neighbor is called at 3 am, your brother in laws work is called minutes later, with fortunately no lasting issues because, well he is not at work, and then it grabs your sisters number and dials her home every other minute for say....15 or 20 minutes. when your sister tries calling the phone back, there is no answer, and when she tries to call your home phone, 3 times, you don't hear that either because you are fast asleep in a room with no phone. your brother in law then gets dressed and your sister is panicked because she thinks something has happened to you and her mother, and they come up and enter a very dark and quiet house, except for an eerie glow coming from the couch where your possessed cell phone is continually dialing "connors home"! your sister first checks on mom to make sure all is ok, then rips the battery out of the phone, leaves you a note to find in the morning and returns home, unable now to sleep herself until well after 5 am. (sorry cori!!!!)
well if this happens to you - do not plug the device in or attach the battery until you are sure it will function properly or it is during a decent hour of the day! after googling i now know i should have immersed the phone in to 90% alcohol - (does bourbon count!). oh well, live and learn.