thoughts

life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. -- carl sandburg

in regards to our struggling with challenges of life, think of how delicious the soup will be in the end because the onion was added. for as king david wrote "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" (Psalms 30:5)

a psalm of life

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,

Life is but an empty dream!

For the soul is dead that slumbers,

and things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art; to dust returnest,

Was not spoken of the soul.

...

Let us, then, be up and doing,

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labour and to wait,

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

my friend marsha is a good soul. on july 8, 2008 we celebrated with her. she had a birthday. with joy and gratitude she embraced her years. it was a birth and a rebirth party. for on this day the doctor's gave her the "all clear" notice. she is a survivor of pancreatic cancer! note: less than 5% of patients diagnosed with this disease are still alive five years after diagnosis, but for some reason the Lord does not need her yet and has allowed her to linger longer with us. how lucky we are and how grateful we are. marsha lives life fully. she serves, she works, she plays, she honors the Lord. here's to marsha - and to numerous more decades!

the dreaded yellow tray - take 2

have i mentioned how much i hate going to the dentist? oh yeah, i have - re: june 13, 2008 post! well yesterday was take two of my trip to hell. (one more to go) steve's (of morgan family dentistry) staff were bubbly and cute when i arrived and welcomed me with warm friendly conversation and smiles. i wanted to smack them. i will spare the reader the disgusting, gory details of the procedure and just say that after digging and drilling from my mouth clear to my eye socket the decay and bad root are now gone. why don't i feel better?

in honor of peninah

peninah was my great, great grandmother. she was 3/4 cherokee. her blood runs through our veins. when the beat of the drum and the high pitched chanting song of the indian is played my family cannot help but feel the rhythm and soon find ourselves joining in dance and song. my aunties and my mother are particularly moved by this sound. they remember trips to the reservation in the mid 1920's with their father to watch and honor the heritage of these people. through the years we have been privileged to attend pow wow's and even a sacred sundance. this past saturday, george called to let us know a pow wow was taking place at soldier hollow in midway. he knew our mom would want to attend. we made our way up to the canyon and with george, who knows everyone and is loved by most (not unlike his grandfather george, i'm sure), we were waived through all toll gates and booths, received a parking spot at the front entry and guided to a shaded canopy with front row seating. at 6pm the circle was cleared and young men dancers performed a cleansing dance to clear the area of evil or bad events and bless it for good. a prayer was said, honoring the people and their traditions as well as our united nation and those among the tribes that were serving us. then the parade of nations took place. it was an inter tribal event, there were ute and crow, bannock shoshone, navajo, arapaho, paiute, cree, lakota, nez peirce, siox and many other tribes. the granddaughter's spun around in their fancy shawls and jigglebell dresses, and the grandson's bent low and reached high as they danced to the beating drum, dressed in fine feathers, beads and quills with painted faces. the littlest ones were called the ladybugs and they followed the lead of their elders and gently moved their feet around in circles. but my favorite dance was the grandfathers. they were noble. they were proud. they were magnificent.

i'm way too hot! (meaning sweating...not good looking!)

the human body is fascinating, marvelous and well, sometimes downright frustrating. take my own for example. why am i comfortable, yea, even a little cold with the air set at 72F at 9 in the morning but i practically "die" from heat with the same temperature settings at between 3 and 5 in the morning?! and how can one person be freezing while i am way, way, way too hot?! and why can my knee be really cold needing to be wrapped in blankets and pillows while the rest of my large self wants to rip every piece of clothing off?
perhaps it is because i just had a birthday! 49 and holding. holding onto what i'm not sure. but i'm holding! guess i better get me some of those hormones!!!!!


ps. since it was my birthday and i am in the mood i am....i shall eat delicious german chocolate cake (thanks to cori), raspberry mango tarts (thanks to connie) and chocolate english toffee (thanks to lisa) for breakfast and lunch!
... and what does it mean when my favorite birthday presents were food storage items? thanks fam! u r the best!

it doesn't get much better than this

spontaneous party - that's what happened saturday! dave, timo and annabella surprised us with a few days visit from kansas city. gram was mighty surprised to see her boy as he walked up to her car door. she didn't skip a beat, just said - "oh my golly, who is that! well get in, let's go" to which timo promptly opened the back door to the car, crawled in, buckled up and acted as though not a day had gone by since last seeing gram. katie and elliott came up for "saints on the seas" rehearsal where katie is one of the narrators. we managed to talk them into staying for the day. since it was so hot, i sent them to smith's to buy a pool. if you google earthed the neighborhood you would see that the three homes surrounding our abode all have built in pools. not to be out done - elliott and katie succeeded in bringing home an awesome inflatable, just right for our little ones. (i believe my neighbors are actually a little jealous.) sophie and parker came over. as the grown up sat under the shade trees, drinking propel, diet coke and licking banana & root beer popsicles, the kids had a heyday in the sun and the pool. anna was a babe and parker was the studman. sophie and timo stayed busy trying to empty the water out of the pool with water guns and buckets. once again we were surprised when emily, aaron, brooklyn, ian and lucas showed up later that evening on their way to lake powell. we cooked ribs, ate coleslaw and had sherbet for dessert. the only great grand kid we were missing was little libby lu! it doesn't get much better than this!

be a dentist and people will pay you to be inhumane

why is it that when you have a sore toe, or knee, or back, or tooth the pain increases significantly at around 3 or 4 am! and how is it possible that a sore tooth with a partial root canal done is more painful than say your foot being dislocated, hanging upside down with the ankle bones broken? earlier this week i went to see my good friend steve because i had a cracked tooth. now i love steve in spite of his profession, but i hate going to see him. the only part of my mouth that hurt was my tongue, because the tooth was roughing it up a bit. while sitting with clenched fists and toes curled up and every muscle constricted i heard him say..."mmm..looks like we'll need a yellow tray!" oh no, the dreaded yellow tray, which is used for root canals. quite frankly in spite of my pleas to have him just pull the dang thing, i felt that i was rather a good patient and tolerated the procedure with every ounce of bravery i could muster. but after a few days i'm not tolerating it as well. it hurts and it hurts most at 3 am! last night i tried advil, tylenol, even half a tramadol, hanging my head upside down, putting pressure on it, taking pressure off it, pacing around the house, turning the tv on for distraction, turning the tv off to try and go to sleep, surfing the web and of course saying a few prayers. as the sun was rising, some or maybe all of these methods began to work and i drifted off to sleep. modern medicine and technology are great and i am happy to have my own teeth but after last night, i am rethinking my options and wish that he had just pulled the dang thing!

what am i - a schmuck?

a long time ago, in a land far, far away we took a trip across the pond to listen to cori sing in the liverpool cathedral. she had written, along with kurt bestor and mark robinette, an oratorio celebrating the movement of the "saints" ie latter day saints trek from europe to "zion". (cori has since adapted an unplugged version of the musical story and in fact will be performing it this coming pioneer day holiday at the farmington arts center. see coriconnors.com for more details) anyway, back to my story - it was a trip to remember, full of adventure, joy, laughter and much fun. cori, dave, kate and annie arrived first with visits to burmingham, (note - there is no ham in burmingham) bath, bristol and the land of Jane, Elizabeth, Bingley and Mr. Darcy. sherry, gram, cinny and i met up with them in london. right off we knew why we were so grateful to have cinny along. not only was she great company but we immediately dubbed her our schlep. she packed and toted and hauled and lifted everything for us. now schlep, meaning traipse: walk or tramp about; pull along heavily, lift a heavy load against a resistance; "can you shlep this bag of potatoes upstairs?"; a tedious or difficult journey, also spelled shlep or shlepp or schlepp is not to be confused with the yiddish meaning of shclepper as an awkward and stupid person. I don't believe cinny had ever been called a schlep before but accepted the new name willinging. it was probably around the third day into the adventure, as we were driving along on the wrong side of the highway, with cinny freezing because we had the ac turned down so low, that out of nowhere from her spot in the back seat she asked "what am i, a schmuck?" it took us sometime to gain our composure but when we did we assured her that she was no schmuck! she was our schlep and we loved her for it. seven years later she continues to schlep for me and i continue to love her for it.

who was that masked man?

have you ever met someone famous and acted so cool around them, treating them as if they were just ordinary folk. well, this reaction might not be that you are cool but rather because you didn't know they were famous until after the encounter! this is pretty much me! i believe i am out of touch with the glamour entertainment world. just recently i concluded a real estate transaction with a young hollywood star. i acted extremely professional through the whole transaction. no ooo's and aaahhh's. and was thanked for my discretion in the end. discretion? for what? hmmm.... who was that guy? i better google and find out. or better yet call my truly withit niece and ask her. are you kidding me! that was him? wow...i have his autograph! (they are on legal documents, but still, it is his signature!) now i have to figure out a way to introduce him to haley! hmmm... i think i have some documents i need delivered. perhaps hay should do that for me.
unfortunately i cannot blame this behavior on age because i have always been just a bit out of touch. (a successful paparazzi i would not make) a few years back i showed houses to a famous wwf wrestler. he used a different name at the time and when i first met him i remarked that he looked familiar. he said his brother was that famous guy not him. i believed him and we spent the next few days looking at real estate. (how dumb am i?) other brushes with fame: i've attended robert redford birthday party, by accident, but nonetheless, joined in singing happy birthday very gleefully. i was in the ladies room at the same time as angie dickenson and i have had lunch with prince charles. (although that was a business luncheon and i'm not sure that counts.) i sat across the aisle from mohammad ali on an airplane once. while in sun valley we were separated by just a table or two from "the terminator" and his family. and in my early days as a twa reservations agent i booked a seat for lassie. (yes, lassie got an actual seat and did not have to travel in the cargo hold.) my nephew, johnny, has had numerous brushes with fam that i think he should blog about. in the meantime - i am not always dumb when it comes to meeting famous people - thank goodness. i went on a date with the heir to the dole, ie pineapple and banana, fortune. i am grateful for that because it was then that I decided money, albiet very nice to have, was not enough! and it was with great honor that i shook hands with pres. hinckley. ...and another and.... i am, after all, related to cori connors, who is famous in kaysville, farmington and finland!

to do:

things i would recommend NOT to do:

1. splatter toothpaste in your eye. this is very difficult to do anyway, but i would recommend you not try it!
2. buy any pair of pants unless they have some small amount of spandex
3. leave clothes in the washer for three or more days
4. delay going to the dentist. (for say three or four months, even though you lost a filling and you entire mouth aches)
5. leave a half eaten portion of garlic shrimp in your car overnight and the next day with temperatures in the 90's.
6. forget to rsvp the most important wedding event of the year (sorry noelle )

things i would recommend to do:

1. wash the dishes every night.
2. go therapy shopping
3. eat chocolate truffles
4. kiss someone you love everyday
5. pay your phone bill
6. eat ice cream for dinner and salad for breakfast

your brain on laughter

i recently read an article endorsing the effects of laughter on the brain. laughter improves memory, mood and motivation. it has important neuropsychological benefits -"a good knee-slapper produces a chemical reaction that instantly elevates your mood, reduces pain and stress, boosts immunity, exercises your brain, and even strengthens bonds". parker had a good laugh the other night as he joyfully threw a rubber squeaky bone and watched as kimball retrieved it. as he did this over and over again, our funny little guy buried his excited sqeals into his stuffed mickey mouse doll. very cute. just yesterday kate and i were helping gram into the van. she started laughing and shaking and i was trying hard to hold onto her. when i made sure she was safely sitting on the seat i looked up and saw tears running down her cheeks. she has a good laugh. when we got the news that our friend hank wolfgang had died last week, we were saddened, but our sorrow was lifted as i pictured him and mom sitting on opposite ends of the pew in church and shaking the bench with their attempts to stifle laughter. my sister sherry has a good laugh. it starts out quiet, nearly silent and builds to a loud, contagious crescendo. when sue and john were little they designated thursday night as laughing night. the attached pictures should make you laugh! fortunately our family has many such photos that provide endless hours of laughter. we even have a file for "pictures that never should have been taken" in the article i read, a study showed that heart patients benefited with fewer heart attacks and less needed medication with a prescribed thirty minutes per day of laughter. so....go ahead and laugh. it's good for you!

the foot

“friends are angels who lift our feet when our own wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

the foot...hmmm...very useful. yet perhaps one of the most unattractive parts of the body. it is a rare thing to have very pretty feet. linda wins in our circle. (at least in my opinion, with kate's coming in a close second. although if tasha's toes were not curled up it would most likely be tied with kate.) we try all we can to make them prettier. buff, polish, sand, and in my case a good rub with a very sharp grater. perhaps they are what they are because we abuse them so? they certainly carry a heavy load, in my case, and generally speaking, with the laws of gravity, i believe that to be true to all. we run them ragged, we stub them, we cram them into shoes and walk upon our toes, or walk barefoot and develop leatherlike callouses. i leave mine to such neglect that large crevasses form. we break our toes or twist our ankles yet still demand that the foot buck up and carry us on. in the movie out of africa, the character denys finch-hatton, played by robert redford, contemplates the foot and says something like...there are poems and tributes made about nearly every part of the body except the foot. why is that? well....i don't have an answer. but from now on i am going to be more respectful of the foot.

why i don't love spring

uncle! i give up. i am no longer going to hold my tongue. even though the spring blossoms are pretty ... it is no longer enough. allergies are way too bad and i am now complaining. in fact i am so miserable i may do a little non stop complaining. medications don't work and the mulberry and cedar pollen counts are high. i could tell you this without a weather report. "many clearing throat" was the "indian name" we sisters gave our mother years ago. (aunt mary was "sitting bowling ball", auntie mae "woman who never answers phone", aunt ruby "woman who takes many stitches" etc.) well the allergies and post nasal drip, (hah...drip my heck, more like a running faucet) have made me "many clearing throat". it is obnoxious! i cannot breathe. i have a constant headache, my ears are ringing, my eyes are blurry, my throat is sore and i find myself quite grumpy. they call it rhinitis. this is because you feel like you look like the attached picture.

why i love spring

ah spring. are you finally here? or will you tease us with just one day and disappear into the hot, hot summer? i never can decide if i like spring or autumn best. the fresh new season of growth or the harvest of the fall. i believe they are equally grand in their own right. however, after a long, cold winter, there is something to be said about the therapy of digging in the dirt. getting rid of the old. burying troubles with each turn of the shovel and planting new fresh seeds anxious to grow. i shan't even hardly complain about my allergies. it is just too pretty. one item on my bucket list is to have a "killer" garden. but i will need carrie, or johnny or cindy to help me with that. maybe next year.... for now i will be content with my red buds, petunias, peach blossoms and freshly mowed grass.

something to celebrate

mevlana aka rumi, the 13th century persian poet, is buried in turkey. he focused on connecting the powerful love of God with us on earth. he said, "i looked for God in all the temples, mosques and churches, and found him in my heart. the epitaph on his tomb reads, " when we are dead, seek not our tomb in the earth, but find it in the hearts of men."

in turkey among the ephesian ruins near the ancient library, the third largest in the world nearly 2000 years ago, is a large theatre which could hold 25,000 people. there are 4 statues of women representing knowledge, friendship, understanding and wisdom, keeping watch at the gate. it was in this theatre that paul planned to give his talk, instructing the ephesians to stop worshipping manmade gods and turn to the good news of Jesus Christ. i like the symbolism that four women would stand guard to the most powerful message on earth.

i am surrounded by powerful, loving, tender, determined, kind, adventurous, wise, smart and faithful women. they too stand guard. protecting loved ones and spreading good cheer. they seek God and find him in the heart. how lucky i am to be among them. happy mother's day, happy womanhood day!