my brother john

children of the same family, the same blood with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power which no subsequent connections can supply. - jane austin

happy birthday john! i love you.

earth week

i do not believe we are to take trees down during earth week. aren't we to plant instead?! my heart has been a bit sad these past few days because i made the decision to take a tree down. my lovely redbuds that line my front stairs, offering a canopy of pink in may and glorious shade in august have been struggling. last year dave, johnny and reedo trimmed them for me so that the branches had more room to breathe. i thought by doing this they would not struggle so hard. but last fall the leaves wilted much too early and turned brown long before the cold frost air arrived. i watched and hoped all winter long that the branches that appeared dead or dying were simply in winter hibernation. frodshoms sprayed them for me. last summer and early this spring. and i hoped that just maybe the blossoms were late in arriving because after all it snows every other weekend even though it is the end of april.

of the four trees i have, two were in trouble. i choose the sacrifice one for now. maybe by loosing one the other will be saved. cinny tells me i need to have faith. i don't think i have the faith she does - though i wish i did. instead all i feel right now is sadness. i realize it is only a tree but it is a tree i loved.

here's keeping fingers crossed that the other tree will make it.

it fascinates me -

that an almost 3 year old boy and an 85 year old gram sound exactly alike when saying "iono" and "yup".
.
that I delay getting into the shower just because I don't want to dry off when I'm done. (I love the shower I just don't like drying off...maybe because there is so much of me to dry? hmmm...)
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that I love having robins, finches, wrens, hummingbirds, woodpeckers, etc in my yard but I chase the poor magpies away! (I'm not really sure why I do this other than the fact I think they are obnoxious but it is just a bird for goodness sakes. poor magpies!)
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that 12 oz of chocolate equals 5 lbs of weight gain.
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that 10 years ago i was still thirtysomething. i was also thirtysomething pounds lighter! (soon enough it will have been fortysomething - both years and pounds - oh my).

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that anyone would consider using anything else but good butter. i grew up and out eating "land o lakes". i knew we were all (connors, connors, murdock, parker, gardner and anyone who likes good food out there) kindred spirits tatiana!

.

that i can spend so many hours blog stalking and just ignore the rest of the world!

Grateful for this day

These past few days are I believe the most significant days in history. What happened over 2000 years ago was planned for and anticipated since the beginning of time and the events changed our world forever. Yet I find that all too often I let the days pass from year to year with only a slight acknowledgement. It has been Holy Week. So many miracles were performed, so many lessons taught. Christ raised Lazarus from the dead and then proceeded towards his own. Maundy Thursday, the day the sacrament was introduced to us and lessons were taught by Him who loves us more than anyone else. I often dream of being in the upper chamber of that home where Christ with a bowl of water and soft towels taught his disciples that love was what it was really all about. With the passion of Peter I wish to declare my commitment. Unfortunately, like Peter, I find myself too often hiding in the shadows. It is not that I do not know or believe, it is perhaps that I am just a bit afraid and unsure of what to do.
Gethsemane. I do not need to physically go there to know or feel the significance of this place of crushing. It is the first cold press, symbolic of the First Born, which produces the sweetest oil. The bitter taste of the olive is removed and turned to fragrant, sweet tasting oil but only after extreme pressure is applied. It is not unfitting that He would intercede for us in such a place as this. But like others that love and follow Him I find myself dozing off instead of keeping watch. When I wake from this earthly life I do not want to be greeted by the disappointing question, could I not keep watch?

When I think about these events it reminds me to be grateful of my womanhood. It was to a women Christ first declared himself as the Messiah. It was the faith of Mary and Martha, sisters of Lazarus, that prompted His compassion to raise the dead. A women, who was about my same age right now, watched as her son was offered up, not without suffering. She did not turn away but stood steadfast in her vigil of love. And in the quiet morning of the third day He appeared once again to a women and, as the Resurrected Christ, instructed her to declare His coming.

I long to be like the sisters of Bethany and the widow of Zarephath or the young Abish who ran through the streets declaring her faith. I need to reach out towards others, offering help and love and in so doing I will touch His robe. For these few days I wish I could set away all worldly chores. It is with family and loved ones that desire to be. I yearn to be inspired to do good things and then follow through with action. "For my soul delighteth in His Words" and they sing out "How great Thou art". Blessed be the Lord God. Happy Easter!

thank you cori

the following is taken from "music and the spoken word" it is one of my favorite entries and as this holy week ends and this season of lent comes to a close i wish to thank cori for her gift of words to us all.

The Power of the Written Word

We have long known the power of the written word. Through their writings, historians preserve the events that shape the destiny of nations. Poets write words that blissfully lift us above the mundane business of life into thoughtful reverie. Novelists, with the magic of their words, transport us into paths of excitement and intrigue. Philosophers and statesmen motivate millions to nobler actions with their written words. Most significantly, words recorded in sacred scriptural writings open our view to the purpose of life and how to live it to the fullest. There is indeed great power in the written word.
Consider the power of our own written words. Some may respond to that idea with the statement, “I’m not a writer!” There are words within each of us that have the power to bless the lives of others. Writing them becomes the gift we give—the legacy we leave. ... Phone calls are nice, but they cannot be reread, bringing joy over and over again.
If we could look into the secret places where people keep their most treasured items, we would find written words from loved ones—words they could not bear to throw away.

It was Shakespeare who wrote, “Go to your bosom; knock there, and ask your heart what it doth know.”1 There is great power in the written word. Writing down what is in our hearts can make a difference in someone’s life now—and perhaps for generations to come.

1"Measure for Measure,” in David St. Leger, ed., A Treasury of Wisdom and Inspiration (New York: New American Library of World Literature, Inc., Signet Key Books, 1954), 91.

ooops

hmmm...i wonder who's blog i commented on? i was reading cori's wotd, "word of the day" posted on her blog. the word yesterday or maybe today was peculiar. you'll have to read her blog . anyway...i made the comment that i wasn't sure how peculiar she was but i thought she was just plain weird! i did place the disclaimer that i knew it was in our genes. well - i verified the post was published and then tonight as cori was reading her blog and comments i asked her if she liked the comment i left. she said "what comment, there is no comment from you". what, but i double checked. hmmmm i wonder who's blog i commented on. well if anyone reads this and i happened to have commented on your blog that i thought you were weird, please excuse me it was meant only for my sister!

not necessarily the breakfast of champions

yogurt and coke. that is what i gave my mom for breakfast this morning. i suppose it is a good thing i never had kids of my own for they would have grown up most likely pouring coke on their cereal, eating cookies and left over steak for breakfast, well actually for lunch because i don't think i would have gotten up in time to make them breakfast, and yummy pancakes for dinner. you want ice cream at midnight, no problem. and i have been known to cook shrimp at 2am, wearing rubber gloves mind you because i am highly allergic to shell fish but mom really likes it. last summer i was really improving on my nutrition skills. i was fixing cheese omelets and toast for breakfast. fresh veggies, fish and fruit for dinner. don't know what happened to me. lately i've been making comfort food like big pots of creamed peas, chicken wings - where it is mostly skin, fat and gristle and not so much meat accompanied with libs ribs sauce of course, filet's with plenty of bleu cheese and delicious dryers lemonade bars that melissa saynor introduced me to. but ... warm weather is coming and i'll have to try and fit into my summer skirts instead of my sweat pants so....after Easter i will try to be better. :).

- - -

ps - besides mom always says "red is best".

pps - can anyone else down a whole roll of thin mints in one sitting?

ppps - and for those who can - walgreens has the best antacids on the market!

hijacked by a worm

a worm hijacked my computer! the nasty creature took over my browsers and had a hey day redirecting my searches. he was very good at his deception because he made some things work while others did not. just enough truth was kept to keep me unaware of the full extent of his hold upon me. (sounds like someone else i know) i thought it was a problem with my server. the damn computer repair guy - yes that's the name of his company, was able to clean some things off my computer and speed it up a bit but didn't find any viruses. after all of his efforts i was still having browser redirect issues and well most tragically i was unable to access anything google including blog post and comments! i felt alone and stranded and was resigned to just having to get serious and do my taxes. but a bit cautious of this because i wasn't quite sure if the nasty worm was really do more damage than just web browser redirects and didn't want him to have all my tax data information. i tried running a number of anti virus program...he hid from them. and then last night, after most guest has had gone home from little libby lu's first birthday party, i begged my nephew nate to take a look. well to end a long week - he found the worm and fixed my computer. what a good boy he is! thanks nate. now i can blog to my hearts content. and even do my taxes in peace.

beware

first it was friday the 13th and now....the ides of march is upon us. after reading kate's experience on the 13th perhaps there is credence to some superstitions. the old soothsayer warned caesar to be cautious on this day but alas his pride and arrogance got the best of him and oh well...another one bits the dust. i feel a change coming in my life, actually i know of a change coming tomorrow i'm just not suppose to talk about it yet, any way...change is coming. so i suppose i should heed the sage advise to beware the ides of march and be quick on my toes. i don't believe anyone is plotting to do me in, other than my own self doubt that is, so i shall go forward with confidence and just a bit of caution. i can't wait until it is tuesday and then all this superstitious days will be over and i shall just sit and eat corn beef and cabbage. ymmmm!

---

for anyone who reads this and is the least bit curious...nothing devastating happened, really. i was just released from teaching the mia maids. i love the yw and am deeply saddened that i won't teach them every week. - but i am happy to be with the primary kids.

who's messing with my clock

i believe in the power of good ideas. without them we would not have almost everything in life that makes it fun and convenient. the idea of the wheel was a good one. fire was also ingenious. the printing press educated humanity. i personally am glad someone came up with the thought to have indoor plumbing. and the incandescent light bulb has changed our world. but when william willett conceived the idea of daylight saving time why was that a good idea? there is a long history to dst. all my life i was told that we change times so that farmers would have more daylight to farm, then i read that most farmers hate the idea and then i learned that the need or the premise for dst most recently has been funded by commercial entities such as clorox, 7-11 and both idaho senators, because more french fries are sold during dst i had to scratch my head and say hmmm... i hate changing times. why should the fact that sale of french fries and slurpees be more important than my own physical well being? it is worse than jet lag and when time changes it takes me nearly 4 months to adjust and then it changes again and i am all mixed up. i don't like people messing with my time.

sisters

"for there is no friend like a sister,
in calm or stormy weather,

to cheer one on the tedious way,

to fetch one if one goes astray,

to lift one if one totters down,

to strengthen whilst one stands."

christina rossetti wrote these words as part of her epic poem the goblin market. it is the story of two sisters. it is the story of one sister's heroic, self-sacrificing love given to save the other. it is the story which tells us that love can be used to save another. i have a sister such as this!

she is my best friend, she is my confidant, she is my sounding board, and at times she has been my frustration. (would she be a true sister without this?) but she has never left me nor betrayed me. by her side i learned how to pretend and how to believe. we took space ships rides together while nestled in the branches of the crab apple tree, and sent secret notes of hopes and dreams out into the world from high a top the mighty oak and spent playtime in the basement with lima beans, chalk boards, the red gingham dress and wooden banister horses. countless adventures experienced. pretend soon lead to reality as true love was found and declared, babies came and were cuddled and real life adventures were taken to places throughout the world. she has shared her life with me. where mine was lacking she filled it in. i do not have the words she has to describe my love for her. i only can echo the refrain, "there were flowers on her pillow, that matched ones on mine. madame alexander dolls and traded valentines....she knew my best, she knew my worst and everything in between ... some dreams have come and some dreams are gone and some remain just dreams ... sisters". thank you sister for all you have given me. happy birthday cori!

could it be ...

... this morning i awoke to the sound of a lovely songbird. it wasn't just a chirp here or there, nor that of a bird just in search of food. it was a high and light hearted full blown song and he sat on the branch of the tree out back until he was finished.

was it a song of spring?

yesterday i saw a yellow crocus popping out of the dull brown earth. (i love the color of dirt but this was unturned earth, packed down by heavy snows and not really pretty). a basket of lovely primroses help to brighten our kitchen table and it probably won't be long before the daffodils and tulips start growing as well.

i know that more snows will come, and this warm weather is just a teaser. but for now, i shall enjoy the lovely gift of the hint of spring.

epilogue: winter must have stalked my blog for she has decided to show her power and has snowed this very evening. but not to worry - the sturdy crocus can last through a storm or two...i suppose i can too! fie on you winter, spring will be here soon.

magical elves

my neighborhood is full of good little elves. after a winter storm, when the snow is heavy and covers our walk and driveway, i think to myself - "oh i must go and shovel all that heavy snow off of my driveway." you see if you don't shovel snow and then drive over it, ice develops. and i have a fear of ice. ie broken ankle 2004! anyway back to my story ... "self, you must go shovel". but before i have a chance to don my snow boots and shovel, i look out and the man elves of the hood, aka hornes, hones, connors, baileys or gardners have already been to my driveway and completed the job. lucky me! but the last two snow storms have been during the daylight hours when most of the good neighbor elf men are off to work. so...i decided to don my snow boots (i still own a pair of moon boots) and shovel, (the nifty yellow handled powerless shovel, not unlike tatiana's, given to me for christmas by reedo) and clear my own driveway for once. this was not necessary however, for the good woman elf ferguson, dressed in yellow, black and brown parka with bright blue and red hat, complete with ear tassels and large ball on top was already pushing her snow blowing machine and clearing the way. i joined her and soon neighbor linda saw us hard at work. (actually suzanne was working, i laughed and took pictures). not wanting to "miss out on the fun" linda hopped onto her trusty fourwheeler, equipped with shovel on the front and joined us. she created a tidal wave of snow and slush as she cleared the road and gutter. good elf karen, yet another neighbor, then came with her large magic driveway ice pick and removed what ice had built up when i drove over the snow before removing it. i continued to laugh and take pictures and shout a mighty thanks that i am blessed to live among such great people. elves truly are magical!

the written word is powerful

tonight as i was busy grazing on the left over food set out on the kitchen counter, while doing the dishes, after already having eaten a large dinner ... i glanced over to see if mom, aka gram, was ok. she had been sitting very quiet for a little while so it caught my attention. (quite often she is singing a little song she has just made up or is watching the news or something) but tonight she was quiet. when i looked over i saw that she had picked up a little book that i had sitting on the end table next to her. it was a book on the wisdom of abraham lincoln. she had picked up this book and instead of just looking at the cover and setting it aside, she opened it up and was reading! now this is really not unusual for the mom i grew up with, but the last few years have taken a toll on her. her eyes are sore and weak and her mind will often wander. she use to be an insatiable reader and still is when we go on our daily "outing" for she will read out load to me nearly every billboard sign and advertisement on passing trucks. but it has been a long time since she has read a book. my sister sherry and i quickly finished the dishes. i then moved over to the family room, sat on the couch and watched my mother read. it was glorious, wonderful quiet. i wish that all who love her could be here to witness this little bit of heaven. will she pick up a book again tomorrow night? perhaps. perhaps not. all i know is that for tonight, for these few moments there is a peace in our home that i will cherish! thank you gram. thank you God!

what a deal

when the economy is slow and the real estate market is, to say the least slow as well, what's a girl to do with all her time and a sincere desire to boost the economy? my advise shop the dillards january sale. i got these cute and comfy boots for 70% off and then an additional 30% off that! i also scored on a great pair of pants, not at $90 but a great $11. i love a bargain.

ps happy chinese new year kate!